Australian Prime Minister John Howard, however, seemed less surprised by the news: "Everyone knows how hard it is to keep a long-distance relationship going."

It was, perhaps, at the G-8 summit that the cracks in the Blair-Bush relationship first began to show, as the U.S. president was seen massaging the shoulders of German Chancellor Angela Merkel.

Hours later, perhaps in retaliation, Mr. Blair was seen caressing the inner thigh of French President Jacques Chirac.

At a joint appearance at the White House today, Mr. Bush made one last appeal to Mr. Blair to see if the two men could work things out, but Mr. Blair's response appeared to leave little hope: "It's not you, Mr. President -- it's me."

Andy Borowitz

The Borowitz Report http://www.borowitzreport.com
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