President George W. Bush, who has given speeches in recent weeks accompanied by larger and larger placards with the slogan "Plan For Victory" on them, said today that he had authorized the construction of a "Plan For Victory" sign as big as the entire land mass of Iraq.
Mr. Bush explained the thought process behind the enormous sign, which will be built by the Halliburton Company at a cost of $13.8 billion.
"I have been speaking in front of bigger and bigger 'Plan for Victory' signs, but those signs weren't getting it done", Mr. Bush told reporters.
"This sign should show the people of Iraq once and for all that when I say I have a plan for victory I mean it."
Mr. Bush explained the thought process behind the enormous sign, which will be built by the Halliburton Company at a cost of $13.8 billion.
"I have been speaking in front of bigger and bigger 'Plan for Victory' signs, but those signs weren't getting it done", Mr. Bush told reporters.
"This sign should show the people of Iraq once and for all that when I say I have a plan for victory I mean it."
The gigantic "Plan for Victory" sign, believed to be the largest slogan placard in human history, will be flown over the nation of Iraq by U.S. Air Force cargo planes and will hover over the country until victory is secured, the president said.
While some experts warn that the gigantic sign could pose a danger to the Iraqi people, blotting out the sun or possibly falling from the sky and crushing the entire population, the President vowed to "stay the course" with his enormous placard.
"If that 'Plan for Victory' sign crushes the entire Iraqi people, that'll put an end to all this talk of civil war," Mr. Bush said.
Andy Borowitz
The Borowitz Report
http://www.borowitzreport.com
Waste Someone's Time: Forward to a Friend.
While some experts warn that the gigantic sign could pose a danger to the Iraqi people, blotting out the sun or possibly falling from the sky and crushing the entire population, the President vowed to "stay the course" with his enormous placard.
"If that 'Plan for Victory' sign crushes the entire Iraqi people, that'll put an end to all this talk of civil war," Mr. Bush said.
Andy Borowitz
The Borowitz Report
http://www.borowitzreport.com
Waste Someone's Time: Forward to a Friend.