One day after claiming that "America is addicted to oil" in his State of the Union address, President Bush stunned the nation by confessing that he was personally battling a petroleum addiction and was entering rehab immediately.
In a nationally televised address from the Oval Office last night, a visibly agitated President Bush began his speech with the following simple statement: "My name is George W. Bush, and I am an oilaholic."
In a nationally televised address from the Oval Office last night, a visibly agitated President Bush began his speech with the following simple statement: "My name is George W. Bush, and I am an oilaholic."
The president, seeming to choke back tears, said that he had thought he was keeping his petroleum habit "under control," but added, "When you start invading other countries to get more oil, you know you've hit bottom."
Mr. Bush's decision to enter rehab for his petroleum addiction drew applause from many quarters, including from James Frey, author of the bestselling memoir "A Million Little Pieces."
Mr. Bush's decision to enter rehab for his petroleum addiction drew applause from many quarters, including from James Frey, author of the bestselling memoir "A Million Little Pieces."